Inadequacy
by Sake Bottle Swing
Summary: Kyouya might be extraordinarily talented, but there's one thing he can't do...wrap presents. Some light TamakiKyouya fluff.


This is belated Christmas Tama/Kyou fluff, but I had a mini-christmas with my family and my best friend's family today, so here is some fluff for you! (when do I not write fluff? Is there such a thing as too much fluff?)

Disclaimer: No owney.

**Inadequacy**

Kyouya was an incredibly talented person, as everyone who knew him knew. He was intelligent, artistic, eloquent, and cunning. It was believed that there was hardly anything, if at all, that the boy could not do. However, there was one skill that the Ohtori boy had never acquired and showed no hope of doing so.

He could not wrap a present to save his life.

There were other things too. He was a terrible baker, a terrible chef in general, and wasn't very good at sports. But he easily concealed these inadequacies with his other talents, and besides, who honestly would ask a seventeen year old boy to whip up a batch of cookies for them? But every Christmas, and every friend's birthday, he purchased presents and then needed to cover them in pretty pieces of paper to create some for of surprise. Normally he asked one of the servants to wrap his presents for him, which to some might seem rude but all of the servants in the Ohtori household remembered the year Kyouya was thirteen. Three rolls of wrapping paper, five rolls of tape and a pair of broken scissors later a very kind maid wrapped the boy's gifts for him and told him to never touch wrapping paper again.

Personally, Kyouya was a gift bag sort of guy. No one had ever complained, especially with the kind of gifts Kyouya gave them. Except Tamaki-Tamaki complained, whined, wheedled, and finally coalesced into a glorious tantrum of epic proportions when he received a present concealed in a gift bag.

"But Kyooooooooooouyaaaaaaaaaaaaa," he had whined. "That takes all the fun out of it!!"

Kyouya grimaced, saying, "You can still take the tissue paper off. That's the same, isn't it?"

Tamaki sniffled. "NO IT'S NOT!" he wailed as he kicked the ground huffily. "Next year I want you to wrap my present! In pretty gold paper! So I can unwrap it!" Of course, when he finally removed the tissue paper and saw the shiny new speakers and jacket Kyouya had gotten him, he jumped for joy and hugged the Ohtori until he was blue in the face.

And so, as Christmas rolled around this year, Kyouya prayed that Tamaki would forget last year and let Kyouya gift-bag his present with no complaints.

His hopes were shattered when Tamaki burst into the Third Music Room, pirouetted, pointed at Kyouya, and declared, "Kyou-chan, this weekend I am coming over to your house and we are wrapping presents! There will be no gift-bags for you this year!"

Kyouya opened his mouth to protest, but Tamaki grabbed him and spun around the room with him. "Ah, what a darling time we shall have, Kyou-chan and I! Won't it be fun?"

"I…can't….see….I think I'm going to vomit…Tamaki put me down this instant!"

Tamaki set Kyouya down and stared at him with great big puppy dog eyes. "We'll have so much fun!!"

"Tamaki, you have not seen how I wrap a present yet. You will want the gift bags, trust me."

"It's okay, I can teach you how to wrap! You can't be that bad!"

"Well…" Kyouya trailed off.

THAT WEEKEND

"No, no Kyouya! That's way too much paper! You only need a quarter of that. Here, let me show you."

Tamaki was growing increasingly frustrated. This was Kyouya's fifth attempt at wrapping Honey's present—a book of cake recipes and a box of fine marzipan. He had already gone through four large sheets of wrapping paper because Tamaki insisted Kyouya wrap all of his presents himself. Now Tamaki was regretting his decision, but he wasn't ready to give up hope yet.

"You said I needed enough paper to cover the top of the box! I do!"

"Yes, but turn it sideways. You'll use less paper that way, and this roll is almost done."

Kyouya growled and glared at Tamaki. "Alright then, back off. I'll finish it myself." Tamaki backed away and continued to wrap Hikaru's present. In less than a minute he was done, with an impeccably wrapped gold box topped with an elegant green ribbon.

"Oh shit," Kyouya stated as he tore a large gash in the paper with the scissors. Tamaki could slide his scissors through the paper perfectly; why couldn't he? It must be his scissors.

"Tamaki. Trade scissors with me." The blonde handed his scissors over and Kyouya tossed his next to his growing pile of presents, nearly stabbing Mori's gift.

Kyouya turned back to the torn sheet and tried with the new and improved scissor. "Shit." He had torn the paper again. The adage "A poor workman blames his tools" passed through his head. Screw the adage. He was certainly not a poor workman.

"Finished!" Tamaki cried joyfully. "How are you coming Kyou-kun?" Kyouya growled in response and stabbed the paper with the scissors.

"Kyou-kun, I'll help you with that!"

"No! I'll do it! Go….make yourself a snack, or something! I'll be fine!" Tamaki shrugged and left the room. He was beginning to fear for his life anyway.

Kyouya turned back to Honey's present. Hastily, he threw the wrapping paper over it and taped it haphazardly. When it looked like something resembling a present, he sighed and slapped the gift tag on it. He threw it into a corner and turned to Kaoru's gift. It was a hexagonally-shaped box that would be nearly impossible to wrap into anything resembling a present.

Five minutes after Kyouya undertook Kaoru's gift Tamaki returned to his room. He noticed something that he really did not want to mention to Kyouya, for fear of being eaten, but he had to. "Um, Kyouya, please don't eat me but…"

"But what!" Kyouya snapped as he wrestled with the wrapping paper.

"You were supposed to give Honey the book and the box of marzipan and Kaoru the plushie. You gave Honey the plushie and you're giving Kaoru the marzipan."

Tamaki struggled to breathe as Kyouya wrapped his hands around his neck and proceeded to kill him.

EVEN LATER

After many rolls of wrapping paper, several fits of rage and near-infinite patience on Tamaki's part, Kyouya had finally finished wrapping his presents. The job was downright pathetic, seeing this pile of terribly-wrapped lumps next to Tamaki's gleaming gold and silver boxes, but Kyouya didn't care. The point was, he was finished and he never had to do this again.

He reluctantly let Tamaki snuggle next to him and hug him. "See, isn't Christmas nice?" he purred.

Kyouya shrugged. "It's alright, I guess."

Tamaki grinned. "I knew you would have fun!" Kyouya didn't know how cutting and taping paper around a box could be fun, but he didn't feel like arguing with Tamaki at this point. "Sure, it was fun. Great. Can you go home now?"

"No!" Tamaki exclaimed and he snuggled closer to Kyouya. "Kyouya…they say that Christmas is also a magical time of year. A time when people fall in love. Doesn't that sound nice?"

Kyouya knew that whenever Tamaki said something sounded nice, he usually followed through with whatever happened. Rather than give him the satisfaction of another elaborate scheme, he simply turned his head and pressed his lips against Tamaki's. He pulled away after only a moment and with a very satisfied smirk, said, "We'll see."

Tamaki opened and closed his mouth several times before Kyouya pressed a finger against his lips and said, "No more talking. You're giving me a headache." Tamaki giggled. "Scrooge," he teased.

"Bah humbug."

LAST DAY OF CLASSES BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Honey and Tamaki were both dancing around the room, chanting, "It's almost Christmas! It's almost Christmas!" over and over. Kyouya sighed and closed his notebook. Christmas was such a waste of funds.

"Alright, it's time to exchange presents!" Tamaki shouted. He ran around the room eagerly, handing people gifts with ecstatic squeals of happiness. "Here's one for you, Kyou-chan!" He handed Kyouya his present.

"Tamaki, it looks like a lump."

"I didn't want you to feel left out."

"Hey, who wrapped all of these presents? They look like lumps! It's pathetic!" Hikaru shouted from another part of the room.

Kyouya turned his icy glare on the twins. Hikaru and Kaoru turned their eyes to one another before bursting into hysterical laughter, pointing at the gifts and giggling like hyenas.

Kyouya grinned as he took the large stuffed Santa Claus they had purchased from a gift shop and walked into the kitchen with it. They heard a loud chopping noise, and he returned with Santa's head in one hand and the rest of him in the other. He tossed the head at Kaoru and the body at Hikaru, along with their presents, and said, "Merry Christmas."

Tamaki pirouetted once more. "Isn't Christmas wonderful?"

FIN

Well then…..the Kyouya decapitating Santa part was just a random idea that floated through my head. I can picture him doing that, though. And Tamaki pirouettes….a lot. Eh. Not my best, but I had to write it because I had to wrap presents earlier today, and I hate it. My presents look like lumps too.

Read and review, please! It would mean the world to me!


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